Forget the attention economy, I’m more interested in the connection economy.
Specifically, the cost it takes to feel connected to one another. From when I first had access to a phone (~2014), progressions in technology have cheapened the entry ticket to personal connection, and therefore cheapened the currency that we use to weigh the effort that people make with us. Long texts from a flip phone meant more than a scribbled “S” over a black screen on Snapchat means to me now.
My contention is that while the nominal Cost Of Connection (COC™️) has changed, the real value has stayed consistent. What this looks like in practice depends on the social paradigms of your generation, school, friend group, etc.
For my sister in high school, more snaps per day = better friend, added to private story on IG/snap = more trust, group facetime = you’re in the squad, 1:1 facetime = you’re one of her best friends.
New innovations in social media stratified the ways we feel connection to our friends, family, and acquaintances. Instead of texting and calling, younger generations have to negotiate with a seemingly infinite amount of social mechanisms that allow people to curate their image to as many groups as they choose.
While Snapchat stories and Instagram likes are facing Zimbabwe level inflation in the connection economy, the value of handwritten letters and homemade crafts are skyrocketing. If we adjust to inflation, the effort that it takes to signal real effort to people is lower than ever.
This “value” that we’ve been referencing really comes down to two factors: perceived effort and frequency. If someone texts me a lot, I feel happy that they’ve been thinking of me and I know they’ve been spending a certain amount of time texting me when they could’ve been texting someone else. The perceived effort is pretty low, but the frequency is very high. If someone sends me a letter, the perceived effort is very high, but they don’t need to send letters very often for me to deeply appreciate our relationship.
The state of our connection marketplace is fascinating. More people have more “friends” than ever and the barriers that kept people from connecting around the world continually become smaller and smaller. However, people feel lonelier and lonelier. We’re in a recession of real human connection and it’s unclear what social mechanisms may need to regress for us to fix that. For me, the answer is clear, if I want to have a lot of deep friendships and connections, I need to invest with either frequency or effort in the people I care about. And while it sounds formulaic or overcomplicated, if you receive a letter in the mail from me, just know I care about you <3.